Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
