yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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