so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
