So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
