Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
