oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
