If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
