Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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