that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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