please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
