I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
