I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
is this the sara with the beer cane?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
