Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
