what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
