I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You have to summon your inner elephant
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
