Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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