If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
worst night to have a conscience
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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