Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
