and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
