"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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