If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Randomize
