One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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