We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
