ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
there was a trapeze. enough said
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
