we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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