I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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