my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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