he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Randomize
