I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
