thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
You need a sexual gate keeper
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
i think i just naturally attract stoners
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
