What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
