If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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