idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
