I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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