We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
