pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
