I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
