I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
