and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
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