Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
