At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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