There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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