So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
my shit smells like andre
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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