I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
