Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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