I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
