no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
