Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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