Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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