I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
