Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
her facebook's as public as her vagina
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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