you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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